So what do you want to do after you leave school?

It seems as though ever adult I’ve met or talked to since Year Ten has asked me the question. I know they meant well. Or they might even be genuinely curious. But most of the time it’s just them making conversation. Bastards. I hate conversation. If I could have it my way, I’d be living happily in a cave in the mountains. Possibly with monks, but I hear they throw wild parties and that might keep me up at night. Unfortunately, that is not an answer I can give the adult who hath asked.

 I used to just reply with; ‘I don’t know.’ But that usually resulted in them thinking they could sort of my problems in one lengthy, three hour long discussion. It never worked. They’d tell me I have plenty of options, and that I could do pretty much anything I wanted while I was still young. But that conversation usually ended with them going on about all the regrets and mistakes they’d made. The second option was them giving me options and asking about my hobbies, like; ‘Well what do you do in your spare time?’ or ‘Is there any field in particular you want to study at university?’ Because apparently it was a crime not to attend the strictly religious uni around the corner.

For a while I told them I wanted to study nursing or history, but then they’d make me chose which one. After a while I decided it was probably best to just agree with everything they said to get the conversation over and done with. Nodding and smiling was the best way to go. If it was really dragging on, I’d say something along the lines of; ‘You’ve made me see the light, I must go sign up for the history of magic right away!’ And dash off into the sunset. It didn’t always turn out like that however.

Recently I’ve decided I’ll give them a definite answer. I’ll tell them I’m going to study badgers in the rainforest and under the sea for three and two quarters of years, and then go study how to make top hats for really small people at a Uni they’ve never heard of. After I’ve gotten my Top Hat degree I’ll take it to a third world country like England or something, and I’ll set up a charity for really small people by providing them with top hats (it’s a service the world needs). Once I’ve provided the world’s population of really small people with top hats, I’ll go and live in a cave in the mountains with a few monks to keep me happy.

Life. Planned.